6 Month Milestone

Today is the day that I've been waiting to come six months. Haha, you read it right. Our baby girl is today 6 months old. Why have I been waiting for this day to come since she was born? Well, let me be honest with you, she hasn't been the easiest baby. Now she is a bit more predictable and we have more tools to make our daily life easier and we are able to have more fun with her.

She has now started to explore her world more and it is fascinating to see her growth and development. It is also amazing to watch how the smallest things can be so adorable. Her finding her feet, her rolling over after weeks frustration, her eating solids, her playing with a pacifier and putting that to her mouth on her own and her discovering trash on the floor and trying to crab it without any success. She is now very curious of the outside world and every time when I'm pushing the strollers she wants to see where are we. That's the cutest thing ever! She still can't sit on her own and crawl but it's just matter of time when she finds out how that works. We have already lost our bets with my husband when she will crawl, but it's just so close!

The Americans 😆

I love going out with our little princess. I constantly set dates with my mom friends and going to different mom groups because I enjoy it and Isabella also loves it. I have found a totally new side of myself; being socially active :D! Who would have thought that a baby can encourage you to do that? I have been very shy child and started to come out of my shell when I was already in my twenties. My husband is the opposite of me. He loves social situations and I love that about him. He can make friends so easy and doesn't have problem asking people over. If it was up to him, we would have guests every day :D. But I'm too Finnish and I need some alone time. I hope our little one is having her dad's social skills so she wouldn't need to learn those social skills as an adult.

I have had for a long time this "getting rid of stuff" -mood. I feel like we are constantly buying stuff and thinking that "we need it". Our favorite store is this Red cross salvation army second hand store where you can find anything. It's so clean and well organized and they test that everything works before they put them for sail. We have bought furnitures, (most of the) baby stuff, dishes and much more from there. We go there weekly just to look around what they have. And almost every time I find something cute for Isabella (surprise!). So I got inspired by my cousin to have a break of buying clothes for myself. She said that she had a year break that she didn't buy clothes for herself and my reaction was instantly that how did you do that?? Her answer was simply that she stopped going to the clothing stores. I started to think about that and was excited to challenge myself to do the same but wasn't sure if I could do it. A year without any new clothes, that's insane! But at the same time I have my wardrobe full of clothes and there is lots and lots of clothes that I have never used. How stupid is that..? So what's the point of buying new clothes all the time if you don't use them, I asked myself. Now I'm thinking still should I do the break and the more I think about it the more excited I become. So this is closer to that step that I want, at least no more clothes for me.

Motherhood

Being a mom is one of the most challenging things I've ever done in my life. But at the same time it's the most precious and wonderful time in my life. Sometimes when I have hard time with Isabella, I'm thinking that how my life would be without her, and I realize that it wouldn't be the same, it would be boring and I would have this longing what I had and disappeared when I had Isabella. I wouldn't change this time for anything.

I have grown with her so much. I even told one friend of mine that I think I've grown 10 years, that is how I feel. My body, my face and my thoughts are older and more mature and I don't know what to think about that.

In this baby stage where we are now, there's no stability. That I have noticed for sure. When something starts being easier, there's coming something else after one or two weeks. We had hard time with her sleeping, it took a month and all of a sudden everything changed and she slept so good waking up only once a night. One night she slept through the whole night waking up after 11 hours! My husband and I were hurraying, but maybe too soon.. Now we are in this stage that she's rolling over on her crib and starts wining because she's stuck or then in the middle of the night she starts playing and she's so energetic so I have no other ideas than feed her so she could calm down. So we are back to the starting line.

One of my friend who has two toddlers said that the first year with the baby is constant changing. Going through different faces. There's so much developing in the first year so nothing is stable. It's exciting but sometimes exhausting.

Barbecuing at a nearby farm.

I've enjoyed my long maternity leave so much. I'm enjoying all the things that I can do with my sweetheart. I've kept myself (and Isabella) quite busy and it's good. I've never been like this before and I'm excited about how I've changed. First time in my life I'm social and trying to get friends and I think it's easier than ever before. Who would have thought? I'm going to different mom groups and sharing how're things with the baby and very often we have same struggles. It motivates me and helps me think that I'm not a bad mom or I haven't failed. Very often I feel that I'm glad we don't have those problems when I hear other moms' struggles. But at the same time trying to help them if I can.

Every face is very special and precious with your baby but you always wish your baby to be little bit further until you realize that it's over and you miss the baby time. Right now Isabella is rolling over all the time and gets frustrated because she can't crawl yet. She's really trying but doesn't have the ability yet. Just this week I heard many moms saying to me that be happy that she stays still. Then I said that I'm looking forward that she starts moving so it would be easier and could entertain herself little bit longer. We always want something else we don't have, right?

What comes to my well being. I'm doing so much better. I don't crave sugar anymore. I love good and nutritious food. I love cooking and exploring my cooking skills. I'm constantly looking for new sugar and gluten free recipes. I feel good in my body and now I have started to exercise as well little bit more when I'm not hurting anymore. It feels good to feel your muscles working. I feel alive. I just feel more tired than ever before. I feel that my hormones don't help me anymore to keep me going. Can't wait that I can sleep first night after almost 6 months.

The Challenges of The Baby Life

Isabella's first flight!

Our little princess is now almost 5 months old and I'm enjoying every moment with her, almost. When ever she reached the 3 month old stage she has been so much happier and easier baby. No holding her anymore all the time when she's awake. We visited US for Christmas for three weeks and she was like a new baby! We were so surprised how well she adapted to everything. Big dogs barking and licking her face, no reaction. Long car rides and we have a baby asleep! Shopping with mommy, so exciting (can you believe it?! Natural shopper 😜).

Look guys, she's sleeping!!

We were so excited about our easy baby, until we came back home.. It felt like we have a brand new baby again and even harder, she stopped sleeping during night...! We were exhausted because of the jet lag and our lovely girl is really testing her parents' patience. First week was horrible, she woke up EVERY hour. I didn't know what to do so I just started to give the pacifier to her and she became addicted to it. So now every time the pacifier has dropped she wakes up! So nice! NOT! I made a very bad habit for her. But at the same time it's easier just to give her that because it calms her down.

The best buddies

We also really wanted to start to give solid food when we come back home. So I started, first week was great, she was eating and enjoying the new tastes. Second week came and I kept giving her more food and different flavors and little by little she started to become very sensitive and was crying a lot and couldn't sleep during the day at all. So I became frustrated and didn't know what to do. I couldn't sleep much because she was waking up so much. She was clearly uncomfortable but I had no idea what to do. I was exhausted and thinking that this is our life now forever. It felt so endless. So it came out just today, that she's having a very first tooth coming and was constipated almost a week. No wonder she was little fussy.. The situation is little bit better now but I feel little worried about going to bed still because I know that I need to get up so many times because of her pacifier.. What a habit I created...! We'll see how the new week starts.

Burgers in America (why not?)

It is funny and also nice how this baby life goes through different stages. I feel that every week is different with her. If I have been frustrated and almost giving up (can you really give up parenting??), the next week starts differently and easier.

I love her stage right now. She is now crapping things with her hands, she's smiling all the time, she's testing her voice (which is sometimes quite loud..) and is so interested in of everything. It's fascinating to observe and follow how she's growing. We have so much fun with her together with my husband. She's adorable.

Christmas in Seattle

Life Unexpected

When I was still pregnant I thought that I knew everything about babies and if I didn't know yet, I wanted to learn and read so much. I did everything to prepare myself for my new and exciting life. I had many things in my mind what to do and what not to do. I didn't want to repeat other moms' mistakes. I was very prepared for all the difficulties what might come up and thought that I didn't need to suffer for the short and stressful nights with my baby girl. I had all the knowledge what to do since the baby is new born that what I should do and how I can make her to sleep through the night.  How wrong I was about everything. It wasn't that easy. The easy tricks didn't work with my baby. I was way too stressed about thinking to do everything right. I wanted it to work. I wanted to show to everyone how well I can take care of my baby and how I do things easier and we all are happier. But nothing went like that. I started to stress because I couldn't get my baby to sleep. She didn't sleep during the day much but slept her nights pretty good. I woke up with her only twice every night and thought that it was hard.

Now things are even worse. I thought that her nights would get easier when she gets older but it happened the opposite. She stopped sleeping during night. She wakes up so many times during night and sometimes I don't even know anymore what to do to get her back to sleep. I keep repeating to myself that this is just a face, hang in there. But man it's hard! I have absolutely no idea how many hours I'm sleeping a night. And I can feel it in my body. I keep eating quite well, avoiding sugars and wheat as much as possible and eating lots of vegetables and oils. I have been thinking about that if I ate like I used to did, so much candy and wheat I don't even know how exhausted I would be right now. Almost all the time I feel that I'm not present, because I'm so tired. I feel sometimes that when I'm talking to someone I'm not making any sense because I just can't think. I keep forgetting things and now I understand when new parents say that before you have a baby you have no idea how tired you can be. So now I have experienced the life unexpected. It's real. It's awful. But I'm still alive and well. I just keep repeating to myself that tomorrow is a new day. But I love my baby girl so very much! She has my whole heart and can't be mad at her. It's not her fault that she can't sleep.

Isabella is tomorrow five months old and she's developing so much almost every day. She has two teeth coming, she can turn from her back to stomach, she can put the pacifier on her own if it's close to her and she's eating solid food. I'm little sad that she doesn't enjoy breast feeding anymore. She used to spend 20-30 minutes eating breast milk, now barely 5 minutes.

Many moms say that they would do almost everything differently with their second one. I don't know what I would do differently. I had all the information what should I do, what works and what doesn't, but I just simply didn't know how to get that information in to practice. The only things I would do differently is that I wouldn't stress so much and tried not to be the "perfect mom". I just had to admit to myself that there's no shortcut to raise your baby. You just need to get to know your own baby and take all the advises and help you get and try and when you have tried everything you slowly learn what works with your baby. It's not easy but it's worth of all the hard work.

Hard Work, Good Results

I have been a mother now 9 weeks. It sounds so short time but it feels much longer. Our little princess is growing fast and learning everyday something new. Like we too as parents. Past nine weeks have been like a rollercoaster, lots of crying, frustration, puffy eyes, lots of joy and laughter. She gives us so much joy and we enjoy her company. Every day we are wondering how cute baby our little precious girl is.

I have always admired moms. They are like superheroes and they always find solution to problems and know what to do. It is funny how much you can learn from your baby. I feel already that within this last two weeks I have learnt to solve some problems that I thought I couldn't survive. I think that one of the best things for being as a mom, is to find new solutions. I have been all ears and eyes what comes to taking care a baby. I haven't been ashamed to admit that I have no idea what to do when my baby cries all days and nothing helps, I haven't even pretended to say that everything is all right when I have been clueless what's wrong when I can't get my baby to sleep during the day. But it is funny that no matter how much you get help and advices you still need to find your own way to solve your problems with the baby. One thing I have learnt for sure, that every single baby is a unique and what works to another doesn't necessarily work with your baby, you just need to learn to do things your own way.

Our baby was crying a lot first eight weeks. We have had much easier now when I have got her to sleep during the day. I got so much help but nothing seemed to help. After reading tons of baby books and magazines and discussing with friends and family who have kids I decided that she needs to know that there is a time for a day that she needs to sleep. So I helped her to get to that routine and after waking up in the morning I ate breakfast, got her ready and started my morning walk with her. I decided that I need to get her sleep even once during the day. I walked so much. I was walking an hour and 30 minutes and she was sleeping. When we got home she woke up and I was a need of a nap and my legs hurt.. I fed her every three hours and when she started to get tired I put her in the carrier and carried her an hour or so and every time she fell a sleep. I did that one week and I was exhausted. I was so done with my morning marathons and being up on my feet the whole day until my husband came home so he could carry her for a change. After one week I was complaining to my husband that it can't go like that, I need to stop carrying her when she sleeps, there has to be some other way to get her sleep than walking with her or carrying her. My husband listened to me and said that be patient this is just a face, it will end one day. And believe it or not, it ended! The next day I was for a walk with our neighbour who has a baby too and I was complaining our situation to her that I'm tired of this that she doesn't sleep during day. Then my neighbour said that try to put her outside to the balcony to sleep. I said I did try that earlier but she doesn't sleep there, every time the strollers stop moving she wakes up

. My neighbour heard my frustration and said, just try. Then I tried and it worked!! She was sleeping her first long naps (2 hours) outside! I was so amazed. As a Finn I was a pessimist and thinking that I might got just lucky that it wouldn't work next time, but what happened, she was sleeping again the next day two hours and again and again and again! It worked! My hard work was paid dividends! I was so happy. Finally I got her to sleep during the day and I could get some things done meanwhile and as a result we have now happier and more satisfied baby!

Isabella sleeping on our balcony

Now you might think if you're not a Finn, that what on earth, you put your baby outside to sleep?! Yep, that's how it goes here in Finland, the babies sleep so much better outside. We put lots of clothes on for them and they are all covered inside the bassinet that sometimes they are even sweating when they are done with their naps. It is a long tradition and everybody who has a balcony or backyard do that for their babies. Of course there is a limit that if it is more than -10 Celsius degrees then it's too cold even for the babies to sleep outside. I have no idea what I will do when we go to visit US for Christmas, I don't want to deal with policemen..! Then I guess I need to find new solutions and my baby will teach me. Parenthood is all about learning and finding solutions for the problems.

The Baby Has Arrived

Being a mother is not anything what I expected. It's so much more. When I was pregnant I thought I was fully prepared for everything. Also I had been babysitting new borns and other babies and toddlers so much so I thought that I am natural mom who will know all the tips. I thought that our baby won't cry or if she does I know how to make her calm down. I had also prepared myself of various kinds of parenting tips reading books and magazines and thought that nothing couldn't go wrong.

How innocent and unaware I was. Our baby started to cry right a way when we got back from the hospital and we didn't know what to do. I was so tired holding her after feeding her all the time so I put her to the bed and thought that now I start the training for her that she would need to learn how to entertain herself. She wasn't even a week old.. I had so much pressure from myself that I needed to succeed and I needed to show to everyone how good mother I was and how I knew how to raise a good kid. I knew so much but I had no idea how to relax and how to begin. I didn't give myself time to relax and enjoy the little baby girl. At the same time I wanted everything else to work at home. I wanted our home to be clean all the time and wanted to be able to cook and be a good wife. Also I had so much other things I wanted to do. I wanted to know so much more about nutrition and more about baby stuff. I had many books I wanted to read but I was exhausted to start any of them. I felt annoyed every time when I was to interrupted of the things I was doing. When I fed the baby I didn't know what to do with her. I had no idea that I needed to put her back to bed because she wasn't able to do anything else. So I tried to keep her awake and she was crying so much. I didn't know what to do. Then I tried to put her to bed and that didn't work. I felt like a failure. The first day when my husband went back to school I was crying together with my baby because I didn't know how to calm her down. Then my husband came home, took her and she fell asleep. I thought that I was not made for being a mom. I wanted to give up.

Still three weeks later I have this huge pressure in my shoulders that I need to do everything right. The funny thing is that no one expects from me that. I just have these goals in my head what I want to achieve with the baby but it feels impossible. I just want to show to everyone that taking care of a baby is just an attitude question. This is the first time I can write my thoughts down. I feel that I finally can do it. After hearing older mothers and reading others'

experiences about the first weeks with a baby I feel that I am not a different than any other mom. I finally could admit that to myself that no matter how well you prepare yourself for the parenthood the reality is always different. You never know what kind of your baby is and how challenging it actually is. So small human has such big needs. It's a full time job and you need to give up your old life style.

First time outside walking 

I also realised that no matter how old you are when you become a mom, everyone is still as unprepared as anyone else. The journey starts when you get to hold your little one for the first time. That moment is so beautiful but also scary because from that moment everything changes. There's not just you anymore, there's a a half copy of yourself who you need to keep alive 24/7. The patient what you need to have is something that grows along the journey of motherhood. I realised that this is not a competition that I need to win. There is no "the best mother" prices.

These past three weeks feels longer than it has been. I feel that I have grown a lot after she was born. She has taught me so much patience and every time when I look at her I realise how big miracle she is. I feel so much love for her, that kind of love that I have never experienced before, I guess it's called unconditional love. It is amazing feeling. Every evening my husband and I are looking at our little princess how beautiful she is. She is the fruit of our love. She is so pure and beautiful. Every time when she has slept longer than an hour I start missing her. When I smell her smell in my clothes I start missing her smell from her skin.

The Last Weeks...

I am so done. My appetite is crazy, my emotions (read hormones..) are too much and the lack of sleep is killing me. Oh well, I am sure all the moms now think that "she doesn't know anything yet, wait when the baby is here!", but at least then I have my body back to normal, I can get more things done and some of that long lost energy back.

I feel that I've been waiting for so long this time where I am right now. I knew that I'd be tired and without energy at this point but some days I feel that this is just overwhelming. Normally I am quite active person and I like to go places, see people, do things with my hands and do sports. This pregnancy has been quite a challenge to me because I haven't been able to do those things. Last few months I have been tired and felt very heavy which have discouraged me to do stuff. I still ride my bike, but my bump is hanging now quite low so it is little bit difficult and I can't go that far anymore. I am very happy that I can ride my bike. I wouldn't have believed in the beginning of the summer that I still could do it! Since we don't have a car and taking a bus costs too much money for us right now, I'm happy that I can go places still quite easy. But other than that, my life is now pretty limited. Walking is not my favourite right now, it feels so heavy! I'm still trying to do some yoga because my shoulders, back and my butt muscles are aching because of the limited sleeping positions (which I have two..).

But I don't want to complain more.

Ps. These pictures are taken at our neighbourhood