Sugar Mama

18.5.2016

I am on my fifth month pregnant and already staying at home for maternity leave, since I am a flight attendant and can't work anymore. First I was super excited to stay at home after two years working so hard. Finally I could have enough rest and do whatever I wanted and enjoy my growing belly. Well, first it was fun. I started baking like crazy. After a while my lovely husband started gaining weight and I also started to have some marks for eating too much sugar. Okay, I gained weight too, a lot. But because of the baby of course. So I needed to take a break from that.

 I was baking everyday, sometimes even twice a day and cooking too. I spent the whole day in the kitchen and I had never enjoyed so much. I borrowed books from the library, googled recipes, went through all my baking/cooking magazines and still couldn't find enough to bake. I did some crazy trials sometimes they turned out to be good, sometimes not that good. At the same time I was thinking my future baby and how much I wanted to be healthy mom and healthy example for our little one. I was just thinking that this is just a face. I was craving sugar more and more. Everytime after eating lunch or dinner there had to be some dessert otherwise I jumped on the walls and got so frustrated. I didn't realise that I was addicted to sugar. I have always eaten sweets and loved baking but never been like this before. I blamed the hormones. 

One day my husband came home from the first aid course and told me that there is so much diabetes 1 for children in Finland because the moms eat so much candy during pregnancy. That information really scared me. I was one of them. After that we decided together with my husband that we wouldn't buy candy anymore. We could eat it if it was offered somewhere but we have to stop buying it. It was quite easy. We'll see how it will be in the future, but it has been now one month and I haven't bought a single candy. And can you imagine, I haven't had any cravings for candy! But, I'm still addicted to sugar.. I don't know how to do it, how to make my cravings disappear. I know many pregnant women have that sugar craving but I'm afraid that it will continue when the baby borns and I think it's not good for her to be influenced to that much sugar. Also my husband is suffering eating so much sugar. So I have to do something. I need a shock effect for this too. I also need new healthier recipes even for baking. Sugar free, yak.. Well, we'll see. 

But they are everywhere, the sugary recipes. Especially now when summer is coming, there are lots of parties during summer so cakes and other sweets are in every magazine. It's like torture! I want to bake, I want to eat those cakes, cupcakes, cookies, brownies, pies etc. Sigh. Then I look myself at the mirror and hate what the sugar has done to my skin. 

So, I still have few months to go before I stop growing my belly. It wouldn't need to grow anymore, it could stay like this. It's already size of a bowling ball. I'm scared it will grow still few months but at the same time excited to see how big it will be at the end. But I'm starting to be bored to stay at home. I feel like doing something useful. I'd love to go back to work but it could be quite difficult with this belly. Meanwhile I need to start thinking to do something productive how I can make myself useful and my current time exciting, while I'm waiting..

 ps. here are some of my creations just to make it even more difficult to stay out of the sugar..